OK, so, before we go anywhere at all, there is an important thing to understand.
It is not about the destination.
It really isn't.
We need to have a destination to keep us moving forwards, but you know that as soon as you get anywhere, and sometimes before you get there, you are thinking 'what next'.
This is a FANTASTIC thing. This is what 'continuous improvement' or 'kaizen' or 'spiraling' is all about. Taking constant, positive steps to evolve and grow all the time. Stagnation is never a good thing! The dance of life is about gradual change and growth.
This has huge implications for everything in life, but as this book is primarily about loving your body, we will focus on how it impacts you and your body.
You may feel that when you get to size x, or y lb, or whatever, then you will be happy.
Unfortunately, there are a few problems with this approach.
One is that we get what we focus on and what we resist persists - and these thoughts are always, by definition, inadvertently focusing on what you don't have, or what you have now that you don't want.
This thinking makes it a lot harder to get what you do want! The other aspect is that you say you want to be a certain weight / size or whatever to be happy. The goal then, is happiness. Well, achieving weight or size when nothing else has been considered will not change anything. And in fact, it can make it worse! If you achieve your goal and still aren't happy, then you realize you have even bigger problems to deal with. This leads people to self-sabotage before they reach their goal, as deep down they realize that it will not sort out all the other things in their life that need sorting, or it leads people to Yō Yō.
The weight / size etc. has become your excuse, something to blame for not being happy.
It's all a bit back to front!
To get what you want, you need to love what you have! It's the law of attraction and it is, as the name implies, a law!
You may say that you have been focusing on what you want, and it still hasn't happened, thus disproving the law, but that is because if you focus on lack of something or what you don't want, you are creating resistance to what you do want.
Real positivity is needed, and that does work. In fact, which is what we are here for!
We are not even going to begin the actual journey just yet - we are going to pack the car with all you need to make sure that when you get to where you are going you have everything you could want to enjoy there. We are going to make sure you have somewhere specific to go to, not just a vague idea. We are going to set the sat nav to take you exactly where you want to go, and double check that is where you do want to go. And we are going to make sure you know where you are starting from too. We are going to make sure the stereo is set to play your favorite tunes on the journey, that the air con is at the right temperature.
In short, the more prep you do at this stage, the more you are going to enjoy the journey, and the destination when you arrive. It is the process of the journey that is what life is all about - but life is a series of journeys. If we are always thinking about the next destination, with no thought of the journey itself, life will have passed us by in a series of meaningless successes or 'ticks in the boxes.
The journey analogy is always a good one, although a little tired - but reading all the factors included in a successful journey that is because we forget about all of that, as we do it naturally for actual journeys, forgetting it when we are taking personal journeys through life!
Another way of thinking about it, and one that is close to my heart, is like surfing through life. You must get to the beach, assess the conditions, get the right board and wetsuit, wax your board. You must paddle out, which can be challenging work (although the pros make it look easy - that is practice and training and a bit of knowing where and when to paddle!). Then you get out back, watch the sets roll in, pick your wave and enjoy the ride! No ride lasts forever, and you wouldn't want it to. You savor and enjoy it, then paddle back out for some more.
Right now, you want to be feeling excited about the entire process, you are getting your things together and getting ready.
It is not about the destination.
It really isn't.
We need to have a destination to keep us moving forwards, but you know that as soon as you get anywhere, and sometimes before you get there, you are thinking 'what next'.
This is a FANTASTIC thing. This is what 'continuous improvement' or 'kaizen' or 'spiraling' is all about. Taking constant, positive steps to evolve and grow all the time. Stagnation is never a good thing! The dance of life is about gradual change and growth.
This has huge implications for everything in life, but as this book is primarily about loving your body, we will focus on how it impacts you and your body.
You may feel that when you get to size x, or y lb, or whatever, then you will be happy.
Unfortunately, there are a few problems with this approach.
One is that we get what we focus on and what we resist persists - and these thoughts are always, by definition, inadvertently focusing on what you don't have, or what you have now that you don't want.
This thinking makes it a lot harder to get what you do want! The other aspect is that you say you want to be a certain weight / size or whatever to be happy. The goal then, is happiness. Well, achieving weight or size when nothing else has been considered will not change anything. And in fact, it can make it worse! If you achieve your goal and still aren't happy, then you realize you have even bigger problems to deal with. This leads people to self-sabotage before they reach their goal, as deep down they realize that it will not sort out all the other things in their life that need sorting, or it leads people to Yō Yō.
The weight / size etc. has become your excuse, something to blame for not being happy.
It's all a bit back to front!
To get what you want, you need to love what you have! It's the law of attraction and it is, as the name implies, a law!
You may say that you have been focusing on what you want, and it still hasn't happened, thus disproving the law, but that is because if you focus on lack of something or what you don't want, you are creating resistance to what you do want.
Real positivity is needed, and that does work. In fact, which is what we are here for!
We are not even going to begin the actual journey just yet - we are going to pack the car with all you need to make sure that when you get to where you are going you have everything you could want to enjoy there. We are going to make sure you have somewhere specific to go to, not just a vague idea. We are going to set the sat nav to take you exactly where you want to go, and double check that is where you do want to go. And we are going to make sure you know where you are starting from too. We are going to make sure the stereo is set to play your favorite tunes on the journey, that the air con is at the right temperature.
In short, the more prep you do at this stage, the more you are going to enjoy the journey, and the destination when you arrive. It is the process of the journey that is what life is all about - but life is a series of journeys. If we are always thinking about the next destination, with no thought of the journey itself, life will have passed us by in a series of meaningless successes or 'ticks in the boxes.
The journey analogy is always a good one, although a little tired - but reading all the factors included in a successful journey that is because we forget about all of that, as we do it naturally for actual journeys, forgetting it when we are taking personal journeys through life!
Another way of thinking about it, and one that is close to my heart, is like surfing through life. You must get to the beach, assess the conditions, get the right board and wetsuit, wax your board. You must paddle out, which can be challenging work (although the pros make it look easy - that is practice and training and a bit of knowing where and when to paddle!). Then you get out back, watch the sets roll in, pick your wave and enjoy the ride! No ride lasts forever, and you wouldn't want it to. You savor and enjoy it, then paddle back out for some more.
Right now, you want to be feeling excited about the entire process, you are getting your things together and getting ready.
